A Word from Denetra
Struggling to let go of control takes on many forms. For me, the lie I believed was that I could take care of myself — that I could figure it out on my own. Over time, this way of thinking left me feeling emotionally bogged down because it became part of my core belief system.
This belief didn’t just live in my thoughts; it impacted my entire central nervous system, often triggering waves of anxiety. I carried the constant pressure that I had to figure everything out and, if I couldn’t resolve it, then it was my fault.
But over time, the Lord revealed something life-changing: the authority I had convinced myself I held was never mine at all. “There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.” (Proverbs 19:21, KJV)
I’ve had to walk through a journey of learning that I am not ultimately responsible for myself — or anyone else. I am only a vessel. God is the ultimate Provider and holds supreme authority over every detail of my life.
What Are You Struggling to Surrender?
Surrender begins with identifying what you’re still holding onto. Is it your plans, your relationships, your finances, or even the outcome of a situation? Naming these areas brings them into the light, where you can lay them at the feet of Jesus.
Do you feel that you have to take control in order for things to get done? Many of us live with a subtle belief that, if we don’t take the reins, things will fall apart. The problem is that this mindset not only wears us out — it robs us of the opportunity to witness God’s creative and miraculous ways of working things out.
When we focus only on our way, we can block the Holy Spirit from showing us something better, bigger, and completely different from anything we could have imagined. The Lord desires to lead each of us personally, with a plan that’s both purposeful and deeply tailored to our growth.
How Does Holding Onto Control Affect Your Mental and Emotional Health?
Control often feels like safety, but in reality, it keeps the body and brain in a constant state of hypervigilance. Mentally, it fuels overthinking and worry. Emotionally, it drains joy, peace, and the ability to be present. Over time, this constant state of “mental gripping” can wear down your resilience and lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout.
From a neuroscience perspective, when we cling to control, the brain’s amygdala — the alarm center — stays activated, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This can impair the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking, decision-making, and problem-solving. When this happens, we become more reactive and less able to think clearly.
A study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (2016) found that people with a high “need for control” often experience greater anxiety and more difficulty coping with uncertainty. This is because the brain perceives a lack of control as a threat, activating the same stress response as if we were in physical danger.
Control may temporarily feel like security, but it often keeps the mind in a cycle of fear and the body in a constant state of tension. Letting God take control is not weakness — it is a profound act of faith that allows your brain, body, and soul to finally rest.
Can You Truly Give Complete Control to God — and Trust Him with the Outcome?
Surrendering to God is not a one-time event; it’s an ongoing choice. Each day, we have to intentionally loosen our grip on the things we are tempted to control. True surrender says, “Lord, I trust Your plan more than my own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5–6).
It’s an act of worship to say, “God, even if I don’t see how this will work out, I trust You to work it together for good” (Romans 8:28). When you choose to trust Him, you open the door for peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6–7).
Reflection Questions & Scriptures
1. What are you still holding onto that God is asking you to release?
• Psalm 55:22 – “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
2. How has trying to control every outcome affected your mental and emotional health?
• Matthew 6:27 – “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?”
3. What would it look like for you to give complete control to God this week?
• Proverbs 3:5–6 – “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Prayer for Surrender
Heavenly Father, I confess that I often try to carry burdens You never meant for me to bear. I release my plans, my worries, and my desire to control into Your hands. Teach me to trust You in every season. Quiet my anxious thoughts, calm my heart, and align my will with Yours. Thank You for being my ultimate Provider and for guiding every detail of my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
