I have always leaned on Psalm 46:10, be still, and know that I am God. Though I valued this scripture I didn’t truly know how to apply it to my own life. I was accustomed to worrying, crying, and whaling to God whenever I encountered a trial. I figured if I wailed and cried long enough eventually the Lord would come and save me. Over the last few weeks, the Lord revealed that it was time to start working on this part of my character after I became discouraged and sought the Lord for clarity on a recent incident. When I initially went into prayer I felt good knowing that God would grant me the clarity I was seeking but as the days lingered on the clarity didn’t come and the doubt worsened. I thought, “What if God doesn’t give me clarity and I’m stuck in this state? What if this is how things will always be and I don’t move forward?” The intensity of the worry became more heart and gut-wrenching. I was overwhelmed with doubt and worry about the situation and came to believe that God couldn't change it.
I continued to cry and yell out to God for help for several days and felt no relief. I begged him to recuse me and give me clarity. I heard His still small voice say, “I want you to trust me.” I thought, “I am trusting you. Don’t you see me crying and yelling out to you for help?” As the doubt and worry deepened I fought off the negative thinking that God wouldn’t give me any clarity and that I would be stuck. Several hours later I was awakened at midnight with more intense fear and anxiety. I then went into my closet and said, “God why am I feeling this deep fear and anxiety? What is keeping me from being at peace? Why don’t I feel free?” As I sat and waited for God to answer I was plagued with even more doubt that I wouldn’t hear from Him. Eventually, His voice resonated and He revealed that this deep sense of fear and anxiety ultimately stemmed from a deep root of rejection. Oh no, but praise God that I broke the ground! I sat with God and wrote out all the lies I was believing about the situation. I didn’t believe He could give me clarity.
I believed he would leave me stuck, that I wouldn’t move forward. I believed that I wouldn’t be free. I wrote out pages of lies and then I wrote out my feelings: rejection, frustration, sadness, loneliness, etc. I then sat with God and prayed through all my deep feelings of rejection that have caused years of anxiety and fear throughout my life. Finally, the fear, doubt, and anxiety that I was feeling lifted and I could hear the voice of God speak.
This situation reminded me of the crying baby in the crib who screamed, yelled, and attempted to claw its way out. Through prayer and healing in Christ, I manifested into the calm, quiet baby who was confident that Mommy would come back. This was a hard, painful lesson to learn but I’m now confident that I no longer have to claw and scream my way through a trial with God to get an answer from Him. I can be confident that He will come back to get me. He will give me clarity. He will get me out. I understand more deeply what Jesus was doing in the heart of the disciples when they were on the boat in the storm and unsettled, yet Jesus was perfectly calm and asleep. Matthew 8:23-27
Jesus desires for our character to be molded and shaped into His likeness and glory. Though He was persecuted and hated He never worried, never feared. He spent time in deep communion with God so that He was always filled with His love. This allowed Him to be a constant conduit of love for others. What a revelation to truly know in my heart that I don’t have to worry if I will hear from God. I can rely on Him and trust that His promises will prevail. I am assured that He will come through and I will hear from Him.
If you’re in a trial and don’t know the next steps, focus on the word of God. Ask Him if there’s anything that lies between the two of you that keeps you from hearing, trusting, and believing in His promises and His voice. Ask Him to heal you from any pain that keeps you from being still and trusting in Him. Once we’re healed in Christ we can follow His still small voice wherever He goes. We can be still in the midst of the storm. We can trust in God to reveal the next steps. We can be that baby in the crib who is calm and knows that Mommy is coming back, but most importantly Jesus is coming back. Be still and know that He is God!
How can you truly be still and trust God?
Pray – Ask God if anything stands between you and Him.
Trust – Memorize and lean on His promises.
Wait – Ask Him to give you peace while you wait on Him.
Until next time…