For many, Mother’s Day is a time of joyful celebration, filled with flowers, cards, and treasured memories. But for others, it brings a wave of emotions that are harder to name: grief, confusion, numbness. If you've ever felt disconnected from your mother—emotionally, physically, or spiritually—know this: you are not alone, and God sees your heart.

When There’s No Bond to Celebrate

Each year, I still find myself buying a gift. Sometimes it’s out of tradition. Other times, it’s because I genuinely enjoy giving. But often, there’s a quiet ache beneath the surface.

I try to find scripture to reflect how I feel about my mother, hoping to attach spiritual meaning to the gesture. But I often come up short. The verses about nurturing, faithful mothers feel distant. The connection simply hasn’t been there.

“Honor your father and your mother…” — Exodus 20:12

I honor her position. I respect her as my mother. But the emotional bond? It’s felt strained, incomplete. My connection often feels like a duty—something I do because I should, not because I truly feel it.

When Love Isn’t Simple

Years ago, my mother and I had a conversation about our disconnection. She shared that she was overwhelmed when she learned she was pregnant with me—already caring for another child, not ready for more. And from the beginning, that unspoken message made its way into my soul: “You’re here, but you weren’t part of the plan.”

That kind of message leaves a mark. It shaped how I saw myself and how I related to others. Intimacy felt foreign. I often felt alone in figuring out life and couldn’t understand why. That emotional gap between us never made sense—until I realized it had been there from the start.

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.” — Psalm 27:10

Even if you were not received with joy by an earthly parent, your heavenly Father welcomed you with purpose. That truth has become an anchor for me: where human love fell short, God's love never did.

Relying on God to Meet My Needs

For years, I kept trying to connect with my mother. I hoped that maybe this time, it would feel different. But often, I walked away feeling unseen or misunderstood. I placed the weight of my healing on someone who simply couldn’t carry it.

Eventually, I realized something important: the emotional needs I longed for were never meant to be met by one person. I needed more than connection—I needed restoration.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:19

When we don’t receive what we needed as children, we often look for it in adulthood—in people, relationships, or even success. But nothing and no one can fill that space like the Lord can. He alone restores what was missing and builds our identity on something eternal.

Healing from What Was Passed Down

At some point, I asked myself:

• How do you love someone who struggled to love you?

• How do you build a relationship with someone who did what they could—but it wasn’t enough?

Then I saw something clearly: I had inherited more than pain—I had inherited emotional distance. I, too, was loving from a place of obligation. But in Christ, we are not bound to repeat the cycles we come from.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17

Choosing to Forgive and Love Beyond the Pain

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or denying the pain. It means choosing healing over bitterness.

“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other also.” — Matthew 5:39

This isn’t a call to stay in harm’s way—it’s a call to live in such freedom that someone else’s brokenness no longer breaks you. Forgiveness is strength. It’s choosing to live from God’s love rather than your wounds.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32

You Don’t Have to Feel What They Felt

One of the most healing truths I’ve learned is this:

• You’re not required to mirror someone else’s feelings toward you.

• You can love someone who couldn’t love you well.

• You can forgive—even if they never apologized.

• You can move forward—even if they never changed.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” — Romans 12:21

Let God Recreate the Love You Missed

When I reflect on the kind of love I longed for, I realize I’m not without hope. God can restore what was missing—even from the very beginning.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” — Psalm 139:13
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” — Jeremiah 1:5

God saw you first. He loved you first. His plan for you has never been broken, even when people fell short.

This Mother’s Day, Choose Freedom

This message isn’t for the woman whose mom is her best friend. It’s for the one who doesn’t quite know how to feel. For the one who honors out of obedience, not intimacy. For the one grieving the love she never received.

This year, choose healing.
Choose forgiveness.
Choose truth over trauma.
You don’t have to pass down what was handed to you. You can start something new.

A Prayer for the Wounded Heart

Lord, I give You the pain that was passed down to me. I ask You to heal the broken places in my heart. Help me forgive those who struggled to love me well—and teach me to love from Your strength, not my wounds. Knit my heart back together with Your perfect love.
Amen.

With love, 
Denetra
C&C Ministries