Have you ever struggled with attaching and detaching from others? I have had this struggle my entire life. The thought that I just needed to be closer to Jesus felt so foreign. I never understood how I could be close to someone who wasn’t there. This understanding only magnified my neediness and spiritual immaturity.
Thankfully I have always used the church as a way to get this need for connection met. I am grateful that I didn’t seek the need out in a destructive way. I praise God that this was a healthy outlet. But, yes there’s a but, I still relied more on people than I did Christ.
I had so many fears when I felt detached from others. The Lord is kind in how he takes us on a journey to reconnect back to him. I have always wanted to attach to Christ and depend on him. I was doing the best I could. However, to rely fully on him and not depend on others for emotional security seemed obsolete.
I am here to tell you that this obstacle isn’t too great. As we draw near to Christ He will draw near to us. I started to dedicate more time to the Lord. I realized that if I wanted to have a closer walk with the Lord and connect with him emotionally then he needed my time. So I rearranged my entire schedule and started to get up around 3:3-4 am to spend a few hours with him. I then made sure that I had all my Bible journaling tools together so that I could study in multiple ways.
Through this early morning dedication, the Lord started to reveal not only the necessity of connecting with Him before connecting with anyone else but He also started to fill my cup more than it’s ever been. He revealed even deeper wounds from childhood that caused detachment and started to fill my need to connect with him more than others.
I have always wanted to attach deeply to Christ but wasn’t sure how to do that. The gap in the bridge in my heart started to fill and I now look forward to personal time just the Jesus to hear and speak to him. I am no longer fearful of being alone. I am no longer desiring to pull or be around others for comfort. I am settled with just me and God's days when not much is going on.
What is your story? Do you seek the company of others more than the company of God? Do you long for a drink of living water but aren’t sure how to get your cup filled?
I encourage you to start by dedicating a nice chunk of time to Him every day. I understand we all have busy schedules but ask the Lord to reveal the best time for you to you, and he will.
Until next time...